He’s such a space cadet. He always lies. He’s always making shit up. He blurts out weird things all the time. He won’t share. He won’t do his part of the work. Never mind, he doesn’t fit in. He is just a geek. He tries too hard. Yeah, what ever dude.
He is just a space cadet. He won’t pay attention. He doesn’t care. He just won’t pay attention. He is lazy. He doesn’t listen. I tell you, he just won’t pay attention. He doesn’t think of anyone but himself. He doesn’t think of his friends. He blurts out things without thinking. He does it on purpose. He doesn’t appreciate anything. He doesn’t take care of anything. He broke it on purpose. Just don’t let him do anything then. Don’t get it for him, he’ll just break it anyways. He ignores me. Hey you, hey you, hey, you! See, he just won’t pay attention. I swear, that kid!
I’m such a space cadet. Shit. Sorry. I forgot. Sorry. I didn’t know. Sorry. Oh. Sorry. I didn’t think of that. Sorry. Umm, I dunno, I just thought. Sorry. What? Uh, well, sorry. I just can’t get it. I just don’t get it. I’m just stupid I guess. I’m a loser. I’m a failure. I hate myself. I am sorry.
You just have to discipline him. You’re not doing it right. Make him sit and do it. Give him severe consequences. Take it away. Ground him. Just don’t let him get any more rewards then. Yell louder. Ignore him, give him a taste of his own medicine. Give him more responsibility. Give him more consequences. Watch him like a hawk. Treat him like the baby he is acting like. Put him to bed earlier. Stop giving him so much sugar. Don’t let him drink pop. Don’t let him eat red dye.
I’m trying. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything. How many times do I have to tell him? I am always waiting for him to do something to make me ground him. I hate yelling. I hate telling him over, and over, and over, and over. What did I do? What am I not doing? What should I do? What can I do? I can’t let him go there. I can’t let him do that. I can’t leave him there. I can’t invite them over. Watch him. Check five times a night to make sure he wasn’t too sad, too hurt, too frustrated, too determined to stop it himself. I am scared of when there will be no more yelling. No more screaming. How he says he will make it better for everyone. To make it all make sense. To make it all go away.
I am tired. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am so mad. So, so mad. But at myself. I am supposed to be able to fix this. I am supposed to be able to be a good parent. I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying.
I love you. You are so good at that! You are so good at helping. One thing at a time. Let me help you with that. Look at the list. Did you remember this? What should you do next? You did such a great job. Look at how you learnt that so fast! You always try so hard. Thank you for doing that so quickly. Thanks for finishing. Good job on that homework. You look like you are so happy. You look like you had so much fun. Good effort! Don’t forget! I love you.
Don’t give up. It’s not your fault. All I ask of you is to try. Remember to help yourself. Know your skills. Know what you can take on, not all at once. Write it down. Make a list. Help yourself make things easier. Make it work in your favour. Take away the distractions. Do it one thing at a time. Remind me sometimes that you are trying. Remind yourself that you can do this. Oh yeah, and take your pill.
Ritalin. Concerta. Strattera. I can’t believe you’re drugging your kid. You just want a quick way out. Your doctor must be a quack. Sure, drug him up so he doesn’t know what is going on. What a cop out of parenting. You just didn’t try hard enough. Your setting him up to be on that forever. He’ll never learn now. He’ll never grow out of it. How do you expect him to learn to cope when you are giving him an easy way out. Everyone is turning to drugs. Bad, bad Mother.
It hurts that you don’t believe me. But when it comes down to it, I just care about getting through right here, right now. I just care about seeing him smile. I just care about having a day without yelling, or hurt feelings. No more yelling. No more screaming. No more hating. No more blaming. No more deceptions. No more guessing. His smile, I love that smile. I love his happiness. I love seeing him enjoy life. I enjoy seeing him succeed. I love seeing him love being - him. I like knowing that now, there will be a tomorrow. About having a day where I feel like I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom, and that he thinks so too.
