Why I do it all over again
Weather news song song snooze song song yawn stretch shower one boy two boy three boy four pants shirt socks sweater? just in case breakfast toast cereal yogourt juice sandwich Ziploc fruit snack note from school sign money hurry up toothbrush facecloth shoes coats hats mitts its that time again school bag lunch bag guitar case car seat belt have a good day traffic Tim’s construction babysitter diapers medicine for a runny nose car parking glass elevator good morning email telephone mail to do coffee ahhhhh meeting report meeting presentation good job thanks meeting delegate meeting decision meeting long time no see how are you? email telephone mail to do coffee ahhhhh babysitter one babysitter two babysitter three volleyball four traffic milk butter eggs one candy each that’s it outside leaves worms sandbox swing fall tears boo-boo kiss it all better hot chocolate homework cook eat clean homework I have no idea ask your teacher bath pyjama teeth daddy’s coming to get you play tickle one tickle two tickle three run away four snicker giggle guffaw snort blanket teddy once upon a time forehead kiss kiss kiss kiss eyes closed lights off don’t make me go back there toys lego cars sock computer bills email I miss you too facebook blog kill some zombies yawn stretch chit chat how was your day dear? shoulder rub chit chat green eyes smiling I love his eyes sigh dishes note list don’t forget tuck blanket cold feet pyjama bed warm hug cuddle g’night luv.
posted by Yuk-Sem | 9:39 a.m.
4 Comments:
I thought the idea was very creative. Using words that are strung together to show the reader a day in your life. Unfortunatly, as creative as it is, I think it gets a little confusing. All the words seem to fall over one another and I found it hard to follow at times. Maybe putting commas in to seperate the words might have helped. Good job, it was entertaining and had the element of humor which you brought by showing your personality in it. Once again good job.
What a happy/busy/loving insight into your life. I know the big terms of this class are “showing/telling” and you are doing both. It is a great way to show a typical day for you. It is very showing through telling. But in a positive way. Hopefully you understand what I mean. It is very fast paced (as I am sure your day is) and it works really well. I like minimalist writing, unfortunately I have not been able to do it myself. It is very compact and difficult to follow at times but forcing the reader to return and re-read a sentence or two, makes us understand how busy and staggering things can be for you too. I was happy to see that it was as short as it was; reading a long piece written in this style would eventually lose my attention. Curious as to why you chose to bold and italicize the words you did? I like it, I like it a lot.
Also I would love to see your input into how I could tighten up my last post. apaterso @ lakehead.ca thanks!
P.S. As a response to Alana's question about the fonts: I tried to describe with the normal font, and show emotion and thought with the italics...so that one was very concrete and the other was more personal.
I loved the way you did this. Super creative and well written. Like a lot of your work, I have never read anything like this before and that contributes to why I find it so interesting. I like the italisized words and how they show emotion. The RUSH depicts exactly what everyday life is like. I do not have children but someday want to have a few so I cannot wait for the excitement of the rush to come into play. Well written.
Post a Comment
<< Home