The way ADD sounds to me.
He’s such a space cadet. He always lies. He’s always making shit up. He blurts out weird things all the time. He won’t share. He won’t do his part of the work. Never mind, he doesn’t fit in. He is just a geek. He tries too hard. Yeah, what ever dude.
He is just a space cadet. He won’t pay attention. He doesn’t care. He just won’t pay attention. He is lazy. He doesn’t listen. I tell you, he just won’t pay attention. He doesn’t think of anyone but himself. He doesn’t think of his friends. He blurts out things without thinking. He does it on purpose. He doesn’t appreciate anything. He doesn’t take care of anything. He broke it on purpose. Just don’t let him do anything then. Don’t get it for him, he’ll just break it anyways. He ignores me. Hey you, hey you, hey, you! See, he just won’t pay attention. I swear, that kid!
I’m such a space cadet. Shit. Sorry. I forgot. Sorry. I didn’t know. Sorry. Oh. Sorry. I didn’t think of that. Sorry. Umm, I dunno, I just thought. Sorry. What? Uh, well, sorry. I just can’t get it. I just don’t get it. I’m just stupid I guess. I’m a loser. I’m a failure. I hate myself. I am sorry.
You just have to discipline him. You’re not doing it right. Make him sit and do it. Give him severe consequences. Take it away. Ground him. Just don’t let him get any more rewards then. Yell louder. Ignore him, give him a taste of his own medicine. Give him more responsibility. Give him more consequences. Watch him like a hawk. Treat him like the baby he is acting like. Put him to bed earlier. Stop giving him so much sugar. Don’t let him drink pop. Don’t let him eat red dye.
I’m trying. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything. How many times do I have to tell him? I am always waiting for him to do something to make me ground him. I hate yelling. I hate telling him over, and over, and over, and over. What did I do? What am I not doing? What should I do? What can I do? I can’t let him go there. I can’t let him do that. I can’t leave him there. I can’t invite them over. Watch him. Check five times a night to make sure he wasn’t too sad, too hurt, too frustrated, too determined to stop it himself. I am scared of when there will be no more yelling. No more screaming. How he says he will make it better for everyone. To make it all make sense. To make it all go away.
I am tired. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am so mad. So, so mad. But at myself. I am supposed to be able to fix this. I am supposed to be able to be a good parent. I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying.
I love you. You are so good at that! You are so good at helping. One thing at a time. Let me help you with that. Look at the list. Did you remember this? What should you do next? You did such a great job. Look at how you learnt that so fast! You always try so hard. Thank you for doing that so quickly. Thanks for finishing. Good job on that homework. You look like you are so happy. You look like you had so much fun. Good effort! Don’t forget! I love you.
Don’t give up. It’s not your fault. All I ask of you is to try. Remember to help yourself. Know your skills. Know what you can take on, not all at once. Write it down. Make a list. Help yourself make things easier. Make it work in your favour. Take away the distractions. Do it one thing at a time. Remind me sometimes that you are trying. Remind yourself that you can do this. Oh yeah, and take your pill.
Ritalin. Concerta. Strattera. I can’t believe you’re drugging your kid. You just want a quick way out. Your doctor must be a quack. Sure, drug him up so he doesn’t know what is going on. What a cop out of parenting. You just didn’t try hard enough. Your setting him up to be on that forever. He’ll never learn now. He’ll never grow out of it. How do you expect him to learn to cope when you are giving him an easy way out. Everyone is turning to drugs. Bad, bad Mother.
It hurts that you don’t believe me. But when it comes down to it, I just care about getting through right here, right now. I just care about seeing him smile. I just care about having a day without yelling, or hurt feelings. No more yelling. No more screaming. No more hating. No more blaming. No more deceptions. No more guessing. His smile, I love that smile. I love his happiness. I love seeing him enjoy life. I enjoy seeing him succeed. I love seeing him love being - him. I like knowing that now, there will be a tomorrow. About having a day where I feel like I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom, and that he thinks so too.
He is just a space cadet. He won’t pay attention. He doesn’t care. He just won’t pay attention. He is lazy. He doesn’t listen. I tell you, he just won’t pay attention. He doesn’t think of anyone but himself. He doesn’t think of his friends. He blurts out things without thinking. He does it on purpose. He doesn’t appreciate anything. He doesn’t take care of anything. He broke it on purpose. Just don’t let him do anything then. Don’t get it for him, he’ll just break it anyways. He ignores me. Hey you, hey you, hey, you! See, he just won’t pay attention. I swear, that kid!
I’m such a space cadet. Shit. Sorry. I forgot. Sorry. I didn’t know. Sorry. Oh. Sorry. I didn’t think of that. Sorry. Umm, I dunno, I just thought. Sorry. What? Uh, well, sorry. I just can’t get it. I just don’t get it. I’m just stupid I guess. I’m a loser. I’m a failure. I hate myself. I am sorry.
You just have to discipline him. You’re not doing it right. Make him sit and do it. Give him severe consequences. Take it away. Ground him. Just don’t let him get any more rewards then. Yell louder. Ignore him, give him a taste of his own medicine. Give him more responsibility. Give him more consequences. Watch him like a hawk. Treat him like the baby he is acting like. Put him to bed earlier. Stop giving him so much sugar. Don’t let him drink pop. Don’t let him eat red dye.
I’m trying. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything. How many times do I have to tell him? I am always waiting for him to do something to make me ground him. I hate yelling. I hate telling him over, and over, and over, and over. What did I do? What am I not doing? What should I do? What can I do? I can’t let him go there. I can’t let him do that. I can’t leave him there. I can’t invite them over. Watch him. Check five times a night to make sure he wasn’t too sad, too hurt, too frustrated, too determined to stop it himself. I am scared of when there will be no more yelling. No more screaming. How he says he will make it better for everyone. To make it all make sense. To make it all go away.
I am tired. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am so mad. So, so mad. But at myself. I am supposed to be able to fix this. I am supposed to be able to be a good parent. I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying.
I love you. You are so good at that! You are so good at helping. One thing at a time. Let me help you with that. Look at the list. Did you remember this? What should you do next? You did such a great job. Look at how you learnt that so fast! You always try so hard. Thank you for doing that so quickly. Thanks for finishing. Good job on that homework. You look like you are so happy. You look like you had so much fun. Good effort! Don’t forget! I love you.
Don’t give up. It’s not your fault. All I ask of you is to try. Remember to help yourself. Know your skills. Know what you can take on, not all at once. Write it down. Make a list. Help yourself make things easier. Make it work in your favour. Take away the distractions. Do it one thing at a time. Remind me sometimes that you are trying. Remind yourself that you can do this. Oh yeah, and take your pill.
Ritalin. Concerta. Strattera. I can’t believe you’re drugging your kid. You just want a quick way out. Your doctor must be a quack. Sure, drug him up so he doesn’t know what is going on. What a cop out of parenting. You just didn’t try hard enough. Your setting him up to be on that forever. He’ll never learn now. He’ll never grow out of it. How do you expect him to learn to cope when you are giving him an easy way out. Everyone is turning to drugs. Bad, bad Mother.
It hurts that you don’t believe me. But when it comes down to it, I just care about getting through right here, right now. I just care about seeing him smile. I just care about having a day without yelling, or hurt feelings. No more yelling. No more screaming. No more hating. No more blaming. No more deceptions. No more guessing. His smile, I love that smile. I love his happiness. I love seeing him enjoy life. I enjoy seeing him succeed. I love seeing him love being - him. I like knowing that now, there will be a tomorrow. About having a day where I feel like I am Mother, teacher of life, fixer of problems, kisser of all boo-boos, hugger of all tears, all-knowing presenter of wisdom, and that he thinks so too.
posted by Yuk-Sem | 10:04 p.m.
5 Comments:
Wow, Yuk-Sem, this is a very creative piece of writing. I can honestly say that in my life I have never read something so.. I dont even no how to put it.. I guess jumpy but so meaningful at the same time. I really see through this post that you care tremendously about your son. I have dealed with children with developemental disabilities as well as ADD and I give you so much credit for not giving up, its a very tough thing to do. At first, I will admit I was a bit lost and confused with all the periods and commas and all the stuff going on but when I finished reading it I thought that it was brilliantly written because by being jumpy, im not sure if you were trying to do this but it is almost a vast metaphor for the way a child with ADD will act. Changing from thought to thought. The one thing I may change, but this is totally up to you, is the title.. possibly to something that has to do with a mother and never giving up or despite the struggles, you will always keep fighting for your child because you love him. Great job!! , ==brid
This blog is very powerful. My head spins with the thought of your every day. Years ago, when I had a summer job at a mine, I led a group of young students on a tour. One of the boys was unruly, loud, disruptive. His mother was with him, but she didn’t try to “control” him. I lost my patience and yelled at him, but it didn’t seem to help. I kept thinking to myself “Why isn’t his mother doing anything? Why does she let him behave like that?” Of course, I later found out the boy had ADD. I felt about an inch high. After reading your blog, I feel even smaller.
I’ve learned more about ADD since that summer tour, but never before have I really understood it to this degree. Not because you explained the science behind ADD (I’m glad you didn’t). I understand it because I just lived a little bit of it through your words.
I like that you chose not to use quotation marks to surround all of the comments and “advice” you’ve received. Without the quotation marks, the comments felt more like a constant background noise. I could visualize these words constantly running through your mind. As if they’re never finished being heard, like a direct quote might be.
Without writing about your specific feelings, you bring readers on a highly emotional journey. Your writing style accomplishes this beautifully. I could feel your confusion, frustration, hope, patience, anger, love.
Thanks for your honesty. I learned something important from you today.
At first I found the brief sentences a bit peculiar, but after taking in a few lines of the text, I was grabbed by its structural originality. Your use of repetition creates a very to-the-point yet thoughtful narrative tone; something that I, as a reader, seldom see. It is clear that someone's suffering of ADD has had an impact on your motherhood. ADD is something I didn't know much about before reading this. I find the text to be very engaging as well as informing.
I found the first paragraphs give a tone of frustration and lack of patience. From what I had previously known on the disorder, this corresponds to ADD symptoms, and your knowledge and experience solidifies my understanding of the message. Later paragraphs develop into a more inspired and determined tone as the voice of the mother is introduced. The emotion is strong throughout the whole piece, and your delivery is sharp and brutally honest. You chose a topic with which you can relate and presented it without directly including yourself. I think this would appeal to all kinds of readers.
It made me think about all the things that my brothers and I have put my mother through, and how I should never take her for granted.
I found this piece of writing exremely enlightening. The short and to the point sentences were very heartfelt and effective. I particularily like the title because it gives the reader a "heads up" as to why you are using such short, simple,and to the point sentence structure.I think that you chose this structure because that is what you hear in your own head and out loud everyday. I like how you brought yourself completely into the writing at the end. I noticed that you continued to use the same sentence structure in the last paragraph which tells me that all in all, you accept things as they are, but as a parent with a child with ADD, that is how you are left... Still on your toes and and ready to conquer. The final sentence smooths out. This is reassuring that you also see all of the positive things. Great work. I am not sure that I would change anything. There is great emotion expressed. Your story helps others to relate to others living in the same situation.
I struggled with the beginning of this piece. It took my mind a paragraph or two to get the hang of the style. The minimal sentence structure is very powerful. I enjoy reading this style as it leaves you to fill in a lot of the “imagery” gaps as you read. The short abrupt sentences are raw and structure like thoughts. I know that sometimes when I am thinking, I feel like I’m having multiple thoughts at one time, occasionally overlapping each other; you have captured this in your style of writing. You’re different perspectives throughout are successful as well. I can imagine that you would get a lot of “different” feedback from people who are on more of the uneducated side of ADD and have no patients. The piece is divided into stages of ADD: at school, childhood friends, yourself and continues up to the medication point. I like that I can read this and picture a commercial. I would suggest combining the medication paragraph with the conclusion and shorten it if you can. I like that you used repetition to emphasis your own thoughts. Very good and very original.
Post a Comment
<< Home